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Finding love is harder than ever

ST. LOUIS, MO (KTVI) - Are you looking for love on this Valentine's Day, well experts say once you find it does that mean you should head down the aisle right away.  As Fox2's Kelley Hoskins explains.

Studies show perfectly happy couples are now more than ever avoiding tying the knot.

If you feel a little left in the dust when it comes to marriage you are not alone.

Pastor Raymond Horry wrote about finding and loving your mate in a book called, “The Marriage Cup and Covenant," When they get into marriage, they are thinking that I saw this, it’s looks good I want to participate.  But if you don't understand the rules of marriage it won't work," said Pastor Horry.

Pastor Horry holds monthly marriage and single workshops. The pastor explains the real reason perfectly happy couples aren't getting married anymore, "As I often say people want the benefits of marriage, but the not the responsibility of marriage." said Horry.

A recent study from the National Marriage Project found more and more adults are delaying marriage.

Meet two prominent St. Louis singles.  Mitzi Cashion and Lamont Gordon. Gordon is 44-years-old and has a great sense of humor and works in the sports industry.

While Cashion is a mother of two and works in healthcare. Although they have different backgrounds, both are single and understand why many people are refusing to tie the knot. "    Millennials, they see the negative side of marriages. They see social media and what’s out there. You all these things that just desensitize you to getting married " said Gordon.

"I just feel like people are more guarded with their emotions and they are less likely to want to commit. So, they are wanting to be in a committed relationship but commitment not necessarily meaning marriage," said Cashion.

Dr. Sandra Langeslag studies love at the University of Missouri St. Louis.

Yes, love.

The professor has studied if you can make yourself love someone more or love them less and recover more quickly from a break up.

"People now a days have high expectations and marry for various different reasons than several year ago. " said Dr. Langeslag.

"Marriage is tough, so you have to make sure that you do things right the first time, so you can operate in it." said Pastor Horry.