ST. LOUIS, MO (KTVI) – Christina talks about one of her many emotions after hearing about a break in her case.
Christina, Survivor: “I wanted to know the ‘who’. We never really get a ‘why,’ that’s an impossible answer. But I wanted to know who and that was it. Because of how my case was set up, I didn’t really know, I had no idea, I spent every moment after that looking over my shoulder and having a constant question about whether or not I had walked right past one of my assailants. So that was the biggest thing, wanting to see their faces and know exactly who they were.”
Christina talks about giving other survivors ‘a voice.’
Christina, Survivor: “During political elections and everything like that sexual assault is never a platform that’s spoken on. You don’t hear about it. We still feel very much that it’s a taboo subject that’s in our society. So my driving motivation is just for people to know that there are people like me that exist every single day. There are women who will never come forward because they don’t feel there’s a chance for them to get any type of justice. And so for me, I just, I couldn’t imagine what the world would be like if we just never feel like we have a voice. And I just feel like every woman needs to know there are places you can go. There are people who care, not because they want your vote, not because they want anything from you, but genuinely to help you get through something that has altered you entire life.”
Christina wrote the following poem about her "survivor’s story."
Almost 14 years ago I found myself screaming into the darkness
begging and pleading for a chance to go back in time
to a place where the word "NO"was more than just a suggestion
.....and the minutes ticked on.
I went on to spend 11 years straddling a fence.
Half of me just barely making it, the other struggling to just want to live.
Forced to say goodbye to old friendships and familial ties
Only to embrace solidarity, accepting who I had become
....and the hours rolled on.
Four years ago, a forlorn knock at the door
A phone call in the middle of the night
A detective worthy of a role as my hero
Proved that at some point the darkness really must concede
...and the days passed on.
A year has passed since my last courtroom appearance.
A whole year since Lady Justice made me a believer
I faced my fears head on the moment I realized that my monsters
truly did exist.
My predators are now the prey.
And as sure as the clouds still surface, they also roll back and allow
the sun to shine through.
All of this time....these minutes and hours and days... some passing me
by without so much as a hello
But entwined amidst the chaos were other moments still
Filled with clarity as well as an assurance of growth.
I've come to the realization that..those ,358,400 minutes grew
to 4,948 days, that led to 168 months that added up to 14 years
of becoming exactly who I was meant to be.
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