This is the weirdest, grossest camel story you’ll ever read

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A Florida woman escaped from under a camel by biting its testicles after she crawled into the animal’s pen to rescue her dog and the camel sat on her, authorities say.

That’s pretty much the story. If you crave more details, though, they’re out there, including that the 600-pound camel’s name is Caspar; the incident took place last week at the Tiger Truck Stop in Grosse Tete, La.; and “the camel did nothing wrong,” per Iberville Parish Deputy Louis Hamilton Jr.

What exactly went down in what the Washington Post calls “a mad-lib series of unfortunate events”: Hamilton tells the Advocate that the woman and her husband had pulled over at the truck stop to let their dog stretch its legs, and the husband inexplicably started throwing treats for their dog into the camel’s enclosure.

That’s when the dog went into the pen, the couple followed (the dog is deaf and wasn’t responding to them), and the camel got jittery, says the facility’s manager, Pamela Bossier.

The camel reacted by squatting on the woman, who then did what she thought she needed to do to escape. “She said, ‘I bit his balls to get him off of me, I bit his testicles to get him off of me,'” Hamilton says, adding the couple was “aggressive” with Caspar.

Although Bossier says no animal at the truck stop—which features a petting zoo with a baby kangaroo and a mini-horse—has ever acted out like this, the venue has long been controversial: It used to house a Bengal tiger named Tony, which activists tried for years to get released; Tony died last year.

Bossier says Caspar doesn’t seem to be hurt. It’s not clear what injuries the woman suffered. The couple was cited for trespassing and a leash law violation. (Read more strange stuff stories.)

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